to: you know who you are.

just when I thought I finally got it, i totally fucked up again.I clearly didnt mean anything by it, I clearly cant take in jokes nor can i give one. Im an epic fail at that. Im sorry for everything. I dont deserve these past few days. you were the best and I was a bitch, I understand how you feel. I will just dissapear and it will just be like everything that happened never did. I think its better that way, i know you'll hate me forever, and i deserve it. so thank you for everything, i really appreciate it. Il love and miss you, bye.

goodbye summer !

It seemed like my summer just started and ended right when it was just getting better.
Tomorrow , or today I will leave San Francisco for LA and will officially end summer right when the plane lifts off .. Omy. why am i being so overly dramatic -__- maybe its because Im dreading school, cliche` i know, who wants school in the first place? besides, i wasnt ready to leave this amazing bed Im currently sleeping at for my small dingy one. But then again, I miss my mother, boyfriend, myrussellookalikecousinnamednhoele and my grandmama.
However, I will surely miss my family here, they took time to teach me how to drive, "thank goodness for life insurances" - kuya noel ha ha . I didnt run over a person ! but i did run over a red light , sigh* it was ALMOST perfect. they also fed my enormous appetite with great resturants and cooking and took me places, camwhored with me, watched the meteor shower along adam's driveway and almost got attacked by a bobcat, and took me to ride an elephant! an elephant !! i totally felt like Princess Jasmine from Alladin ! hahaha , shut up. I've always wanted to ride an elephant named after my favorite british lady (: haha, anndd a whoole a week and a half of non stop shopping + sprinkles = heaven ! seriously. fun fun fun. I love coming up here. But as we all know all good things must come to and end. Its okay, Im sure my lovely boyfriend will take me places like malibuandeatpineapplesandwatermelonswhilewatchingoldpeoplegetthrownawaybythewaveswhileplaying pusoy(: HINTTTTTHINT*
haha, I feel accomplished ! Im almost done with back to school shopping! my fall wardrobe is loooking good! i just need to figure out whether the boots I just bought is a keeper or I should replace it with ankle boots. Decisions, Desicions.

So, i shall be back home tomorrow, listening to come fly with me - michael buble` while looking out in the sunset up in the clouds, yuummm.

city city

sf was fun, i had the best tour of the city and berkeley thanks to justin and tito lito. sigh* i shouldve thought about how much colder it would be in the city, but then again LA was never cold like sf

please excuse my dear rantings.

i hate quoting cliche phrases like " I dont think im ever good enough", however guilty as pledged thats how i felt yesterday , or last night. I hate crying out in public esp when people are around , it makes me feel like a 5 year old not getting the toy she wants out of the store and instead of acting like a little lady and take it in, she goes off crying like a dramatic version of chuckie. Augh, its one attribute i really wanna get rid off. anyways, thats not the reason why i acted like a human water pipe yesterday.
Everyone else probably thought it was because they teased me on how my lovely driving was, but really it was only a bit part of it. It was a bit, because I admit, im a sensitive brat , im working on that.. but really, it was those sarcastic comments on how " she doesnt even know what red lights mean" " she cant even put a signal" added with the " why arent you this " " why arent you that"
and "why dont you say anything" about topics that i really dont find any input to because i wasnt there and gone MIA for 17 years to say anything about it. Its like Okay, please im trying . last night, it just came all up on me. It took enough guts for me to put myself in a new family i havent known my whole life, its hard. Its like they want me to fill in those 17 year gap with a single 2 weeks visit. my family is lovely, really. Its just too much pressure, or at least i feel like it is.

so i cried my eyes out, because I felt as though I wasnt good enough for my family.I have to apologize to anthony james for taking it out on him -_- sorry boyfriend. sigh* good thing , I went shopping today at stoneridge, took my mind off it for awhile, retail shopping is really therapeutic.

adventures !

me & quiana being stupid.
Im NEVER ever doing this again.

i wish ,.

there are more days than this;
perfect weather, perfect place, perfect music, perfect everything. even though anthony james spilled soda all over my sandals which almost totally killed my mood, it was still a perfect date that i will surely miss for 2 weeks <3








cruising down PCH, stopping by a viewpoint eating fresh pineapples was
the icing on the cake, + that onion ring tower ! yumm.



<3

mother dearest,

i love you, always <3
happy birthday !