i hate quoting cliche phrases like " I dont think im ever good enough", however guilty as pledged thats how i felt yesterday , or last night. I hate crying out in public esp when people are around , it makes me feel like a 5 year old not getting the toy she wants out of the store and instead of acting like a little lady and take it in, she goes off crying like a dramatic version of chuckie. Augh, its one attribute i really wanna get rid off. anyways, thats not the reason why i acted like a human water pipe yesterday.
Everyone else probably thought it was because they teased me on how my lovely driving was, but really it was only a bit part of it. It was a bit, because I admit, im a sensitive brat , im working on that.. but really, it was those sarcastic comments on how " she doesnt even know what red lights mean" " she cant even put a signal" added with the " why arent you this " " why arent you that"
and "why dont you say anything" about topics that i really dont find any input to because i wasnt there and gone MIA for 17 years to say anything about it. Its like Okay, please im trying . last night, it just came all up on me. It took enough guts for me to put myself in a new family i havent known my whole life, its hard. Its like they want me to fill in those 17 year gap with a single 2 weeks visit. my family is lovely, really. Its just too much pressure, or at least i feel like it is.
so i cried my eyes out, because I felt as though I wasnt good enough for my family.I have to apologize to anthony james for taking it out on him -_- sorry boyfriend. sigh* good thing , I went shopping today at stoneridge, took my mind off it for awhile, retail shopping is really therapeutic.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
danielle...look we're sorry bout making fun of ur driving but honostly iys just joking like u shudnt have taken it seriously wat we were saying was nothing. its like make fun sorrtta stuff... if u dont wanna forgive us thats on u but... noones pressuring u to put anything on this vacation noone cares bout what u do we just want u to have fun and i u do wanna do sumthing fun just tell us...the only reason tito tried to teach u how to drive is because u made it seem like u wanted sum1 to teach u...and also if u were mad at uss u shudnt have taken it out on tito lyndon that was really meast up he Wanted to make u happy..sorry to say but yeh
ReplyDeletei know adam, i didnt mean to take it out on kuya lyndon, i wasnt even thinking of that
ReplyDeletei just didnt know what to say to him since i was waay to embarassed to talk to him ..